The alternative: Position-based negotiation

Position-based negotiation is when people focus on their stated demands rather than exploring why they want what they want. Each side takes a position and then makes small concessions until they reach a compromise.

Let's see how the same situation plays out with position-based negotiation:

This "split the difference" approach leaves both parties unsatisfied: you are still too cold, and Rachel will be too warm. Neither person's actual needs are met. Moreover, treating the situation as a zero-sum game puts you and Rachel in competition with each other, which can damage your relationship.